The Glitter Box

For a long time I have found the cat to be an annoyance in my life. I took her in because no one wanted her and she has been a whiny bitch the whole time and despite this, I keep her around. It reaching ten years now that I have had her and in that time I haven’t learned much about her reasons for the loud cries but have found out the causes. According to the vet my cat is going through kidney failure and some of what is going on is a combination of digestive pain and joint pain but in combination with this is that she has a hard time hearing and so she must vocalize louder to hear herself. I know I have mentioned these issues before but I thought I would give a little background to my recent observations.

Right now I think most of her whining is limited to A) Need more canned food, B) Need more water, C) There is food in my water, D) Want to go outside, and E) I want that chicken you are eating from the refrigerator. I am glad there isn’t much more to the list. One other thing that I find very interesting has developed from my laziness and her cleanliness. I hate cleaning the cat box and since this house has minimal mice issues, I will not be getting another cat after this one. I have two litter boxes set out just to extend the time that I have to deal with them and I have noticed one trait that she has which intrigues me. She only pees in one and poops in the other and she never combines the two. I just wonder if I set out a third if she would find the ability to puke in it instead of the floor, my bed, on the rug, etc.

Yeah, it has been a little slow for me here to be observing the eating and pooping rituals of my cat. I have some projects that I need to be working on but I am having some creativity blocks preventing me from moving ahead on some things. Others I need to have some people over to complete a step that I need done before I can move on. This is all coupled with my attempts to constructively reduce my current possessions.

I am constantly taking in old computers and equipment, tearing them down, and then recycling most of the parts and that turns out to not only be easy but also a good stress reliever to make the day pass along nicely. Since I don’t have an attachment to most of the systems, it is nothing for me to get rid of them but when it comes to things that I have owned there is a bit of an internal fight to get them out of the house. It takes some deep breathing and a lot of telling myself that “this is better because I will never use them” in order to finally let go and even then there is a little longing for their return. Most recently is was with some old clothes and before that it was with my collection of Transformer toys.

Still, I look at the piles of things that I own and try everyday to take something out and determine if it has any significance in my life to be keeping it for future days. It is hard enough to go through my things to get rid of them but it is just as daunting of a task to take away the things I have from Angela. I realize that for some people this process would be much easier but for me it just hurts inside to take stuff out of my collection and toss it away and no matter how much I try to tell myself that its going to be alright, there is still underlying sadness wanting some things back despite their uselessness. I am so glad I don’t have this problem with my weight.

And with that, I have been making some changes to get my extra pounds a reason to leave my body a little quicker. Pretty much the new way is to eat as little carbohydrates as possible and increase my fruits, vegetables, meats, and fibers. The science of it boils down to the carbohydrate foods causing the insulin in your body to react to the increase in sugars and in turn tells the body to store everything else as fat for later. By reducing the carbohydrates I am more prone to burning that fat and improving everything else including raising my energy levels. So far I have only been doing this for a couple weeks and I really like how I feel. I still get the occasional sweet treat but having one once in a while is better than all of the time.

With my diet getting under better control I hope to be out doing more walking and biking, weather permitting. I just want to get out of the house more and do things because it gets a little boring some days being here all of the time. I’ve been doing this a year now and I am starting to get the hang of it but by no means have I mastered it. Things are easier to deal with but from time to time I still break down and lose myself in the pain and loss. One of my “Aunties” told me yesterday that I was “doing great” but still, inside, it doesn’t feel like that. I am doing alright and I know that is a gloss term to hide the reality of the situation but there isn’t another good term to describe it. Maybe a better description would be that I am in sight of the path but I still have little roadblocks to contend with.

I want to thank everyone again that has helped me along the way and continues to support me as I work through my little slice of life. Things that have been too complicated for me to handle have been a lot easier with your help and my understanding of the world has become much clearer with your guidance. I am sure I will be saying this a lot for a long time.

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