A few weeks ago I was outside of the Irish Pub after a nice hearty breakfast and the folks running the local Farmer’s Market called me over. They had been giving away fresh produce every weekend for about a month and there was an abundance of items that they could not consume on their own that people were not taking. So, they thought, why not get me to take some.
I was on my way that day to go play Dungeons & Dragons at a friend’s place and I was running late as it was but to be pulled aside by the locals is not something you just turn down when they are offering free food. So before I knew it I had a couple muskmelons and a bad of squash, beans, carrots, and potatoes.
As soon as they were satisfied with my haul I was in the car and off to Sioux Falls but notably later that I had planned. It will come as no surprise to anyone that I would show up late to the game, it happens more than I would consider a coincidence. I try to get to the games on time but something always happens where I get behind or don’t go at all and generally it’s my fault. Oh well.
Generally when I’m in the car it is a time to try and think of new things but typically as of late all I can think about is missing Angela. Some little happy memory will trigger a sobbing cry session that I have to fend off because I’m driving and I need to keep my eyes open for that oddly enough. The rough moments come and go and eventually I space off into automatic driving mode and don’t think of anything else until I have to navigate the streets of Sioux Falls. This time, however, there was a little different situation.
As I was leaving Montrose I could sense that there was something different in the car, a little different energy next to me that normally isn’t there. I glanced over at the bag of vegetables and there sitting on them was a little fellow, sort of hugging them. It caught me off guard but I was able to keep driving. He was the size of a watermelon with a green drab skin color, big Ping-Pong sized eyes glancing out from his black and grey hair, and narrow but long arms and legs with long hands and feet. He turned to me and smiled while motioning to the bag, “Mine!”
“What are you doing?” I said to him as he looked up at me. “Those are for me, I’m going to eat those later.”
The troll put his hands on the vegetables and the muskmelons and patted them. “These are mine.” Stating this with a childlike glee, oblivious to my argument of what was going to happen when I got home.
“Look, you can be in the car and sit with the food but when I get home, those are going into the fridge and I will eat them.” He sat there for a moment quietly. “I’ll let you have some as well.” His face lit up just a bit more after seeing that I recognized him that much more. He sat up in his little spot on the floor mat and mimicked me driving the car down the road.
I made it to the game and ended up being kind of on time. I grabbed one of the melons from the car and the little troll sat patiently with the other bag. “Okay, you stay in the car then and I will be back later.” He started to mimic driving again even though the car was not going anywhere.
After many hours of playing games, hanging out, eating, and dealing with a headache I got back to the car and the troll and I went back to Montrose.
Since that day I’ve learned to focus a little more on blocking out bad energy and letting the good energy flow in. I know my guardian spirit a little more, I feel Angela a little more, and then there is Larry.
I doubt it’s his real name but when I got into the car one day I got a really big impression that there was a Larry near me. Soon after driving a little bit I could see the troll on the seat doing his best to happily drive in his own imaginary car. The red fairy on my dash just ignores it all and I do my best to just let the whole circus go on and not let it bother me. I keep listening and watching and learning the best that I can. I’m sure Larry will teach me some new things just as long as I keep doing one small thing and that is sharing a little food with him and the others.
I’m not really sure what to make of all these changes. I’m a little bored and a lot more lonely. There are so many things I am doing to try and keep me busy and so many things that I need to work on to slowly let go of Angela’s material things. There are going to be many cracks in my foundation but I am taking it easy as to prevent a major problem from occurring and that is why I am growing in a different direction.
In closing, one night I was standing in the apartment kitchen and Angela gave me a big hug and her head rested against my amulet. I said, “I’m sorry for having that there, I know you don’t believe in that sort of thing” to which she replied “I believe in it enough for you.”
I always respected her beliefs and I never tried to push mine onto her but to hear her say that made me so happy and to recall that again and again makes me cry so much. I love her so much and I know, for a very long time, I will continue to remember her and all of the time we had together. And some day, we will see each other again.
(and maybe Larry will drive us around)