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2010 started off with a death in my little world and along with that death was the death of others related to others. The whole month of January was rather surreal as I and my friends came together to discover what we treasured in life and to find one another again. For me it made me see how much I need to stay connected to everyone and since then I’ve taken measures to stay in contact as best as I can.

This is the year that I turned thirty six years old and I can feel the last ten years of my time here swirling around in a mist. I thought I had troubles but after ten years of time those realizations unfolded into something even larger and I lashed out in hopes that I could come away as a different person. My life changed and yet it stayed the same and now I look into that horizon and wonder what is out there.

Another friend of mine that has had a hard life was found guilty of crimes and whether he is or not, he left this year to spend the next decade in the federal prison system. He’s depressed and lonely but that is what punishment brings with it. If there were bright and happy days while being incarcerated, everybody would be breaking the law. He’s a great man on the inside and although some actions may not be tolerable I miss having him around. Today is his fifty seventh birthday I believe and I wish him the best.

Although I struggle with my health and work just like others I finally found my place where I will go after this life is over. After years of trying to understand religion, those that teach it and those that abuse it, and finding what “feels” right for me I know now where I sit. My world has always been in torment over what religion has said is the path and what makes sense to me and after finding some key bits of information I now know that in 2010 I have found peace with myself and my path. I know my true friends will understand but others that cannot accept this will fall away from me and this is the risk that I accept. I now worship, my lord and savior … Meatloaf!

Just kidding …

The reality is less funny and more empirical. I have left Christianity completely but I respect those that follow it as it does provide some glue to keep communities together. My family is Christian and if that works for them, I hope they keep that faith. However, I have found that organized religion isn’t right for me. The history of the development of Christianity and many other religions is really a complex lie that has been perpetuated for so long the lie has been hidden in a false truth. To see this though, you have to step out of the bubble religion exists in and most people are not able to do that. I believe that we all have an energy about us and the longer we live the more of an imprint we put into that energy. You could call it a “soul” but it is really a subtle electromagnetic field that exists on many people, animals, and objects. When our bodies die, this energy moves into the ambient spectrum and depending on our level of energy we can move up and down the spectrum, influencing the world around us and even appearing to the living as ghosts. The “light” people are familiar with would just be a higher and very powerful energy in that spectrum and by joining it, you would indeed meet all of the energies before you. Since energy can neither be created or destroyed, this is entirely plausible.

Then again, I could be off my rocker but I’ve done a lot of research so don’t knock it until you done your reading.

Now that the year is ending I must say that the discoveries, the losses, the gains, and the toys you get at McDonalds have all been great for me. I hope to keep holding my friendships dear and will be glad to meet new and interesting people. I have a great home and wonderful pets and friends and family to live with me into this next adventure. My new job will be another challenge and hopefully a longstanding career.

I wish all of you, a very happy new year and may all your dreams be followed.

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