The System is Broken

Recently one of my friends passed away after dealing with a lot of pain from spinal problems. He was in his 90’s and had been a customer of mine that became a good guy to sit and have conversations with. I’m going to miss him but I know he’ll be around and that is comforting and a little scary as well because he’s a stern man liked to joke. He was one of a very select number of friends that I explained my views of religion and spirituality and he took it really well and never questioned me on it, what a great friend he was. I’ll miss seeing you Curt.

My final application for Short Term Disability through work was denied because the doctors never clearly described the problems I was dealing with in their notes and failed to reaffirm the difficulties I’m having with my concentration, focus, dizziness, and eyesight. I’m looking at going back on this next Monday to try and do some work and also receive a couple lectures about not being there for so long and how my vacation time is used up, and blah, blah, blah. I really don’t care anymore about what they think I should be doing because I’m done fighting with myself, done thinking that I can overcome the issues I’m experiencing by thinking that if I just try harder I can make it. Well, it’s not going to happen and they need to accept that as well. I’m going to lay it on them thick with truth and if they can’t handle it and try to make me feel like it’s my fault for having these medical problems then they need to wake up and try a different plan because I’m sick of playing the little games. (I talk big but it’s going to be a tough sell when the Short Term Disability crap failed to go through.)

It’s been hard to write these blog entries lately because I can’t stand to look at the text for very long. I’ve managed to start and then delete about three entries in the course of a couple weeks in trying to spit out what is in my head and still be able to read it as well. I’m taking little mental breaks by playing games with pictures, which are easier to work with, and adding songs to my play-list for the jukebox at Willy’s. So far I’ve got over 30 songs queued up that I can select from which makes it much easier to work with when you are standing there trying to find a song because you already have a list saved on a remote account. I can now annoy many people with the selection of songs I like. But as for this entry, it’s taking longer than the last time and the next one will more than likely take longer than this one.

Well, I have a computer that I need to finish reloading and get it back to the owner so he can return to business. It’s a K6-2 500 that I overhauled for him and the hard drive had started to corrupt it’s own data but after backing up and zeroing the drive everything is much better. No he wants me to price out a replacement system but it’s going to take some ingenuity because he needs dual floppy drives (not sure why) and dual parallel ports and the OS has to allow for DOS programs to run. Right now I’ve got something put together on Dell’s site but I can’t think of any other site that I can custom build a system online. The only other option is to hand-build a system but I want him to have a single warranty so I don’t have to drive back and forth if something goes … a heck, I’ll be driving back and forth anyway if anything goes wrong so maybe I’ll price out the parts.

I finished mowing the yard today because it was cool out and the mosquitoes weren’t such a problem and then, of course, it rains. I’m sure it will get so hot out again that I can’t mow until it’s really long and I’ll freak out because I worry what the neighbors think of my shag lawn. I really need to mow out the back yard and get that area cleaned up as I bought an air conditioner so I can finally have a cool house and it will be mounted in the kitchen window for optimum performance. Next paycheck is going to be used to finish the roof on the house and then after that I’m looking at getting some shelving to put some stuff away. Only other thing left to do is get the lawn tractor up and running so I can haul away some branches from the back end of the lot.

So much to do, so little time to do it in.

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