I try to downplay it but on a day-to-day basis I deal with a lot of stress in my life. Work, I would have to say, generates about half of the really big waves of stress that I deal with and the other half going to my financial situation. Everybody deals with these two things but in my life these levels are somewhat higher because I’m single and dealing with only one income to spread around. It’s these things that have helped being sick with the Flu and then Shingles a more trying time than ever before. I need an ‘out’ to reset my life and get ahead further than I am now and there are a few options available but the decision I make would mean I could not go back to what I had before and I would be stuck there for better or worse.

Disability has been the one thing I have wanted to explore but the first requirement of disability is not being able to hold a job and I’ve got a little more confidence in myself than that. I want to work, it helps pass the time, but work has gotten more demanding for me than it used to be and I wonder from time to time if this would be the best way to do it. Then again, getting on disability takes a long time and I don’t think I could go through life very long without any income at all.

There is the possibility of working at another company doing phone technical support and making more money per hour than I am now. I don’t know all the details on this one but in the financial sense it would be helpful but not sure about what hours it would run but I would not be able to escape working weekends and that part sucks when your friends don’t and you want to do something on a weekend. The only other thing is that I might enjoy it more than what I’m doing now and that would lower my stress even more.

In third place is something that is kind of falling into my lap more than anything and I’m the least sure about how to handle it. There is a local company that does data management for area citizens and businesses including payroll and tax preparation and the owner is past retirement. Although nothing has been really pushed, there is the availability of a fully functioning business already with a customer base ready to go and the current staff would help with the transaction from them to the new owner. Contract to deed is how it would run but although I’ve worked as an office manager and have financial records experience, I’m not sure if I could pull it off. I could work my own hours and I’d be closer to home but I would have to get my own health insurance. I’m sure there would be some tests I would have to take to qualify to do some of these things but that wouldn’t be too bad … I hope.

So the last thing is to stick it out at Citi and see if I can’t get past my medical/mental issues and make a living without going over the edge. I’ve been there for over a year and my current schedule lets me work during evening hours during the work week but I’m doing something I’m not particualary fond of and it has been difficult to find a better position that fits my skills. There is the possibility of going back into Student Loan collections but I figure if I need to go back to the phones, why not apply for the tech company and do it there. Other than the benefits, working at Citi allows my friend to carpool with me which saves on some costs.

I’m open for suggestions. I know I have lots of friends and they all mean well (I think anyway) and I value any criticism I can get because constantly discussing this with myself is getting me nowhere.

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