Are You There?

From:            God []
Sent:             Tuesday, April 09, 2002 1:40 AM
To:                 Marc Sundermeyer
Subject:        Silly Question

Of course I’m here. I’m always here. I was busy today. Cameron Diaz was tanning in preparation for her talk show stops promoting "The Sweetest Thing." I have to stop being so easily distracted though. Same thing happened last week with Ashley Judd and look what happens. Celine Dion gets the number one spot on the music charts.

Was there something in particular you wanted to ask other than if I was here? I’ve got this whole Middle East thing, you know. They say it’s a Holy War, but I had absolutely nothing to do with it. I’m still keeping out of it. The thing is that when the press keeps calling it a Holy War, my PR department has to start putting in long hours. I hate paying overtime. Oh and talk about needing my PR department, have you heard the news about the Catholic church? Oy vey!

It’s a bad time for religion. It has been for the past 15 years or so. All of the TV ministry scandals in the 80s? My idea. You see, some people need faith to keep from going crazy in this busy world. TV ministry did that for a lot of people , but eventually people became more hooked on watching the show than keeping their faith. So I had to allow a few things to slip through the cracks to shake out all of the pretenders. Call it a 1980s version of driving the moneychangers out of the temple. The people that were faithful stuck with it. Those that didn’t moved on to something else. I believe most of them started the political correctness movement.

I’d write more, but I have to go. It’s a slow time for me at this moment, and I’d like to catch up on some episodes of "The Osbournes." Ozzy is such a nut!

Love and Peace,

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