The Higher Power

Religion is always a good way to start a fight and although I usually try to stay away from that topic, I recently decided that I was going to present the facts that not only a god-like entity exists but also show that the information was based on science.

Just a small disclaimer in case it wasn’t alluded to previously, some of you won’t like this one bit.

The ancient peoples of Earth had a variety of religious beliefs about their origins and what gods and goddesses were involved in that process. These entities watched over them and sacrifices were made to appease them and the descendants of those beliefs still persist today in some form or another. Some actually got really close to the truth but didn’t know it. Some were way off base.

The advancements of technology throughout time has taken mysticism and split out the facts from the imagined and given us a clearer picture about how the universe functions, and we continue to learn to this very moment. From this knowledge we now know some very basic facts that relate to or origins but the question in the flux is, does a god exist?

The answer to this in the simplest terms is yes, yes there is a god that created us, watches over us, gives us life, death, and everything in between. Our god is our Sun and if you understand how the cosmos works, there are many of these gods in the universe but only the Sun is taking care of us.

A lot of religions worshiped the Sun and although they thought of it more like a person in the sky, the were kind of on the right track.

The Sun created itself from a collection of materials floating lifelessly in the vastness of space and helped to organize the collections of mass for the planets, moons, and other astral bodies in our Solar System. Some of this material may have been from the creation of the Universe itself or from the death of a previous solar system that had died out long ago. The heavy metals such as gold were once formed in the nuclear engine of stars and seeded into the planets. Various molecular ices in comets were pulled in and crashed into the Earth to create the bodies of water and atmospheric gases. And over the course of millions of years, the planet stabilized under the passing nights and days from which storms brought electrical energy to cause more complex molecular structures to form … and then life flourished.

This is not to say that the Sun is a happy-go-lucky body out there that were are orbiting. Nope, it is indifferent to you or me and has no idea that while it gives us life, it also threatens us every minute with certain destruction. Hot gasses are blasted out to us, astral bodies like comets and meteors are constantly being flung past us, and the gravity tugs on the mantle to twist and shift the tectonic plates. On top of that, we have a guaranteed End-of-Days when the Sun finally burns up all of the Hydrogen fuel contained within it. If no one comes up with an escape plan, the Earth and a number of the other inner planets will be swallowed up in a fire greater than anyone has ever experienced. End of story.

But we have a little time yet to work that one out. We need to get past our political and religious issues and start working together to find some real solutions to how we plan to carry on our existence. While we do this we can still use our Sun as our source of power and worship it as our god / goddess. It’s energy is part of us and everything here.

Your deity, the Sun, powers everything on Earth directly and indirectly. The plants that refresh your air are powered by the Sun. That rain that grows your crops is created by the Sun. The metals, plastics, and glass used in the computer you are reading this on came from that big star in the sky at some point and we took it all and put it together because we evolved to this state, because of the Sun.

But then there is the argument that Earth is unique and we are special because some magic man/woman/creature created this world and that there is nothing like us anywhere else. Well, we know there are millions of stars in just our galaxy and millions of galaxies in the universe so to say with conviction there are no other examples of intelligent life out there is really short-sighted. We just don’t have the technology to show us anything more, but that changes every day.

I know that the Sun is our creator.

The only higher power out there, is entropy.


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Behind the Blue Door

I purposely muted my connection to the world by blocking people online, not following their feeds, and watching less social media. I did this to save myself from a dangerous free-fall I was in because of the political climate we are in and because the proliferation of information. This disconnection came at a cost to not only myself but to my friends as well as I have pulled so far back that my world has gone nearly quiet and I’m conflicted about this world I am in now.

Another thing that has happened to build upon this seclusion is that a number of things have changed in my personal life to take me away from the world. I was having more and more problems with past debts so I went through the process of bankruptcy so that I could just breathe a little. This meant being even more reclusive because I was watching more closely how much I spent on myself and others and some of those habit have stuck with me. My father retired from his 49 year career and he wanted me to visit him more so I take more time to go hang out with him whenever I can. Lastly I needed to work on a new idea and it cost me not only time and money but also it affected my medication intake of testosterone and that in itself has enhanced my introversion, making me just that much more of a recluse.

Now my life revolves around work and home with very little, if any, social connection. Even when I have nothing else to do, I find it difficult to go outside or go for a drive because I just want to go home and be there. It’s not depression, it’s just that warm blanket of life that draws me away from the rest of the world. I still look out through my windows and see the world go by but I have no desire to interact with it all.

This isn’t to say that I won’t go out to be with others, I do miss hanging out with others but I have that inner worry that I am a burden to others by taking up their time and putting off their schedules to take on my selfish desire for company. And yet I know that isn’t the case really but by using the first argument it justifies my need to be secluded from the world. I rationalize it all on that I have my own problems and I should work on them before I can deal with another person’s problems.

On the upside, it is cheaper financially to never really go out or have a need for entertainment. I save so much money by just staying at home and eating out of the kitchen. I don’t have to worry about spending anything more on the car and I can rest easy knowing I can download the latest movie when it comes out on digital, if needed.

Although I have kept myself away from the world I still need to fill the well of information by writing out my thoughts so friends and strangers can see that I am alive, I am getting along, and I’m fine. I’m pretty sure most people don’t see it that way and it makes them uncomfortable that someone could be so disconnected without a care but this is just how it is.

So if you do see me out and about but don’t respond really, just know that I’m in my own world and I’m longing to just be at home, sheltered in a coma state behind that blue door.

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Ded Ded Dedski

Yesterday I noticed the light scent of bleach in the air and thought maybe that one of the neighbors was using it to clean something outside. But then this morning I could still smell it and still it was so slight that I didn’t put much stock into it. So, before leaving for work, I closed the windows, turned on the radio for the cats, and left for an appointment before work.

Fast forward to about eleven hours later and I walk into the house where a strong blast of bleach hits me and sporadic piles of cat vomit tracking from the living room to the kitchen interrupting my journey. This had me confused because I know I don’t have any bleach in the house. All of my laundry stuff is in the car. There isn’t anything in the house that could mix to cause this smell.

First thing to do was open all of the windows and put a fan in so that the house air could be flushed out. Next was to clean up the *gack* littering the floor. Then finally the hunt was on to figure this out but where it could be was really a mind spinner.

I checked my supplies and checked each room. Eventually I thought maybe something in the basement got knocked over somehow and it was causing this but the entrance was blocked by other stuff I had been storing.

While I was rearranging I noticed that the floor was wet in the pantry and after moving one item I could see the problem. Stored in that area was a jug of Deck Cleaner that I was going to use on my fence and somehow it had sprung a leak and was slowly emptying out. I managed to move it outside so the house could clear of the smell and maybe kill a few weeds while it was at it. Then I moved things back into that room and sealed the door so it could eventually dissipate in there but still not waft into the main part of the house.

That could have been pretty bad if I had been sleeping while it got stronger. I have accidentally mixed ammonia and bleach together once and barely made it to the window for fresh air. It could have killed the cats or done worse things to us all so I’m rather lucky I figured it out.

Anything to keep from waking up dead.

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My process of discovery into my quirks and irritations in the last few years have been clearing up more and more issues with my life and now I am assessing myself with better confidence. How I live and work, how I learn, how I deal with pain, how my body has grown and how it will change, and how I react to it all are things that I have just in the last few years have shown me completely different results than I had ever known.

In some respects aging and experiencing life will give a person a new sense of life and how to handle situations better. With me it is more how my genetic attributes that were previously unknown to me are being cast in a different light and now I can see all the colors on the canvas, some that others could see and some they still cannot. I am both gaining a complete understanding and also closing the book on a major set of issues.

This blog for instance is dysfunctional because I know I bring up this topic a lot and overlap my thoughts but it is here not so much for popularity, but to help get my thoughts out of my head so I’m not dwelling on them so much. It gives me some clarity so that I can go on with my life and work on other issues. If need be, I can reference back to this material and see if there is anything else that can help me.

The most recent issue that I have been centering on is the health of my teeth. Granted, I am not the best with my dental care but part of that comes from misinformation, lack of understanding, and not having the financial resources to take care of myself better. But underlying it all was that unknown medical issue which up until this last weekend I had no clear idea of what was really causing problems in my teeth.

Right now I have several teeth that have been removed because of decay and one that was removed after the tooth with a crown abscessed out and had to be pulled anyway. Currently I have at least three more teeth that will need to come out and I am just trying to get things lined up so at least two of them can be removed. It just takes some meditation of sorts to get myself into the right frame of mind to go through that process.

What changed recently is that a key bit of information was presented to me which provided some insight as to what was underlying this issue and with that I am trying to map out how I will proceed.

This last Friday I had my yearly checkup with my Endocrinologist and he was noting how unusual my case was with having a Prolactinoma and also Klinefelter’s Syndrome, both of which kill a person’s testosterone levels. When I mentioned my teeth, he said that low testosterone is linked to osteoporosis and softening of both teeth and bone. I knew that the conditions were part of the Klinefelter’s but I didn’t know it was linked to testosterone so I did some online research to find out more.

So, in the last decade, Texas A&M did a study on a type of monkey that has genetics similar to humans on the effects of low testosterone in males. It turns out that having low levels of this hormone during development results in periodontal disease and poor tooth quality and that dentists should be aware to mention it to their patients with low testosterone issues.

Before knowing this, I had recently gone to a new dentist to get some restorative options about what I can do with my teeth. They gave me several different paths and the costs associated with them and I’ve been contemplating what I want to do. But now knowing that my teeth are probably internally compromised, I don’t want to have someone do a lot of expensive work on them and then have the tooth fail anyway. I also don’t want to have them all removed when they aren’t in pain or decayed just to do a full replacement.

I need to think on it some more but right now I just want to ride it out and take it slowly. There are other issues besides this one that I am working through and everything will fall into place as it always has. There will be more disjointed, one sided discussions on those in the future so we will just wait for that to happen.

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Social Suicide

So the plan ti break apart my social connectivity has been going fairly well and although I see less of the friends that I enjoyed checking on, I am better off mentally for it. However, as the experts will note, it does give rise to more loneliness but most of the time I am fine with that. The whole Facebook data fiasco helps a little as some of my contacts decided to jump ship before I could cut them off.

I got the notice from Facebook that stated one of my friends ran that app which linked my public information to the outside group but in reality, I had my privacy settings so high that there is no public information. I don’t keep much traceable information on Facebook so one would have to look at my postings and comments to get something but I don’t know how much marketing gets generated by a nut like me. I don’t think I fall into the “standard” model they are trying to reach.

I would be interested to see what the algorithms have figured out about me. Is there something they know that everyone else I know doesn’t? And if so, what use could it be to anyone since that would be such a highly unique item.

No, I think I’m good with the way things are and I will explore other options as they present themselves. I still blog, tweet, FB troll, but I am branching back out into other projects that I have been procrastinating on. If you really want to get a better grasp of my mind you don’t need to scour the internet as I will just share what I have.

While I am breaking down and destroying my social collections from being conglomerated into one massive beast, I am taking these pieces and planting them into new fields of growth to see where they lead to. I will add these links to the BlogRoll menu on the right as well so they can be permanently available as this posting drifts off into the virtual archives.

Sentra 87
SD Tour
Deviant Art

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Ghost Drive

My main hobby right now involves finding and exploring all of the towns in South Dakota whenever I have some free time and the weather is agreeable. Initially it was a way to satisfy my curiosity about small towns that I had never visited but it has grown now into a quest to not only visit every town that is, but also visit almost every town that was as well.

This started out a few years ago as I was driving home to visit my family on the 4th of July. I’m originally from a small South Dakota town and live in a different small South Dakota town and the drives between the two gets kind of dull at times with the familiar plains as the only scenery. This one day I was taking my time and happened to notice a sign for a town off the beaten that I had seen countless times but this time I had the idea to actually go over there and take a look around. It was that visit that led to a few more and then eventually to my current quest.

There are a ton of small towns in this state that I had never heard of much less visited and many are so remote from everything else that I wonder how they survive. A few towns are right near bigger cities but are hidden by the suburban sprawl. And then there are the gems that are gone but not completely wiped off the map that have pushed me to find older maps and seek them out for future travels.

There are a number of small towns that used to exist solely because the railroad was there but if the tracks were removed, those towns have likely dissolved in more was than one. However, that scar from that railroad is usually still there and you can look at online maps to find places you could never find on the road. Many towns that no longer show their names still have streets and foundations to show you where they still mark the land.

Another resource I tap into is just your basic paper map but for this the typical gas station paper map won’t due. Instead, I have a map from the early 1900’s that shows towns, stagecoach stops, junctions, and trading posts that used to exist all across the state. I go over that in addition to the online maps to try and see what might still be there and also how to drive there in the car. The old map has no roads, only railroads, and the online map will show you roads, but not what surface they are made up of.

Someone once from a local podcast was tipped off by my sister and asked if I wanted to record a session about these travels but after I mentioned that it was my hobby and I wasn’t really going to to do anything with the information, they didn’t inquire any further on it.

I keep a log of the journey, take pictures of the places that interest me, and collect maps to help me figure out where I am going along the way. I share with my friends and family the pictures I take and the list of places I have gone but I don’t see myself writing a book about this, my mind has no ability to focus on such an endeavor. However, my log does have some notes about the places I go to and, when I can, I try to get the log stamped by the local Post Offices as a kind of “passport”. Although it would be great to get this done in every town, not all of them have Post Offices and now with the current federal rules, they are only open for a short time in the morning.

The driving around lets me see new areas and offers a kind of mediation and a time to think over what is going on. I hardly ever have the radio on and except for checking the time or a map, I don’t have my phone out either. It is my escape and my salvation all rolled into one big adventure.

There is a lot of land to cover so I expect this to take a few years to complete but when I get close to that goal, hopefully I will find another hobby just as exciting to explore as well.

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I think to help me gain some clarity on a path to less social networking junk I will try to write more entries here. I’ve already cut all the links that I am aware of between applications and removed most of my feeds from the front screens of my devices so that I have less inclination to go into them. Its going to be a slow process but I have to do it.

Today I’m watching the snow fall down on the yard after hearing all of the rain that was pouring down last night. I don’t have anything really planned at this point but there are some things I want to get to if I can. One is rebuilding the wood steps that go into the basement, and the other is to figure out a new tool I got the other day.

I have been piecing together a simple Smart Home system that will monitor my house environment and now I have one of the first parts outside of the computer system, an Arduino Uno and a Humidity / Temperature sensor that I picked up from Adafruit. What I was surprised about was how simple the programming code is but what I am fearing is how small the solder connections are on the sensor.

I know how to solder but I’m not the best at it. There are a lot of skills in it that I wasn’t taught so I know I’m doing some of it wrong. The bigger issue I have is that my hands shake so much when working on small stuff so there is that tendency to weld two things together that weren’t supposed to be welded.

Right now small steps. Later, a sensor array connected to a central computer with only a land-line connection to the outside world. But for now I have my Uno blinking on the test program and the sensor prepared to be mutilated.

A couple days ago, while I was going through my meltdown, I was looking at some artistic outdoor structures and it reminded me of a project I wanted to do with some lamps. But after some sketching, I think I have something that would be a nice outdoor structure to use in a backyard or on long camping trips. The design will use plywood, wood boards, and steel connectors and plates and should be easy enough to set up with one or two people. When it gets warmer, I will see about creating a prototype and sharing it.

Outside of that, just need to keep myself busy with projects or do some actual reading. Anything to keep me from watching the news or staring at social fights online.

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